Old Cinemas, Old Dreams
Liz Hurley by John Stoddart
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ya feel me?
Everyone says ‘think positive,’ because they feel it is the easiest way to push out negativity out of the mind. They also attempt to achieve this by various techniques of meditation suggested by different religious paths.
True spirituality advises to let thoughts surface irrespective of being negative or positive. One should just witness them. The awareness of the truth of their existence assists in letting them go, or pass on. They should just be felt and experienced and even if they surface frequently, one should not get perturbed or affected. Let them play, because the moment we shun them forcibly or pass on without registering the experience they form a part of the subconscious, to surface during unguarded or weak moments.
So beauty lies not in negating the negativity but witnessing it. In such instances one should face the truth that there are still reflections of negativity within, that is why there are negative thoughts.
Work on yourself to be a positive person. Do not invite insomnia and depression by fighting negative thoughts. They surface to get released. Do not push them under the carpet. The process of witnessing negative thoughts surfacing, and simultaneously promising oneself to become more positive is beautiful. So negativity has its own unique value and importance, just like everything else that happens to us.
Dealing with your negative emotions is an extremely daunting task. While providing psychological support I often notice that some get washed away in the storm, forget their identity and assume the character of the negative emotion. They hurt themselves or lash out at the world in general. They think that by catharsis they will feel better. However, raw release of negativity ends up causing harm – both to the individual experiencing it and others.
There are others who are so scared of negative emotions that they constantly deny these feelings. They are continuously searching for quick relief through addictions, fake ideologies, money, sexual adventures and flamboyance, and thereby deceive themselves and others into believing that they are happy. In the long run, this defense crumbles and there is a sudden resurgence of the denied emotion.
Society perceives negative emotions as a sign of weakness, as a sign of immorality or disease . These widespread faulty beliefs are responsible for difficulties that individuals experience in handling negative feelings. People are so ashamed of owing up these feelings that they are unable to develop a pathway to transcend it. Negative emotions are neither a sign of physiological disorder nor an indication of inner depravity. These emotions are a normal and natural signal that tells us there is something wrong. In my experience I often find that if we understand this signal and take corrective steps we can transcend the negative. Transcendence neither implies embracing nor denying the negative emotion. It can be achieved by self-observation, building empathy and expression.
The first step is to openly experience and observe the emotion but prevent any kind of action. Sit still and let emotions come up in your mind. Witness all the feelings and associated thoughts. Do not act on your feelings. Translate raw emotions into words; come up with elaborate description of how you feel. Think or write freely whatever comes to your mind without any censorship. This in itself is very healing as emotions get space for expression. Once emotions get translated into words their intensity comes down automatically.
Developing empathy for one’s emotions is the second crucial step . When confronted with negative emotions people wrongly assume that having negative feelings indicate that they are bad and flawed. It is these learnt judgments that make people feel scared of their own deeper psychology. Drop these judgments and openly accept the way you feel. Tell yourself that it is perfectly human to feel hurt, angry and miserable. Remind yourself that when Shiva was mourning the loss of his wife Sati, he also experienced immense pain and rage. Both pleasure & pain are an integral part of life. We cannot always choose pleasure and escape pain. Tell yourself that you also can feel vulnerable and it is alright to feel vulnerable. As you internalise this stance you will feel light and liberated.
Once you have accepted and understood your negative emotions proceed to the third step of constructive expression of emotions. Develop empathy for others— they hurt you because they were also hurt. Within every perpetrator there is a former victim. Let’s break this cycle by stopping ourselves from being the perpetrator and victimising others. It means expressing your emotions in a manner that makes you feel heard but at the same time does not hurt the feelings of others. To master negative emotions we don’t need to fight but to provide constructive space for our feelings.
Our purpose is to have deep faith in the completeness of existence.
And it was only under the moon when you could see Red for who she really was
You must be a bird.
You must harness your power to be free, to let go and fly. You must embrace your spirit and progress solo, on your own. You must know yourself without the influence of another, without outside opinions, even of those deeply connected to you. You must fly from the nest on your…
.:most amazing place yet : tayrona national park : pure bliss:.